Thursday, 13 December 2012

离开

自从那天你要离开我后,我真的以为你真的离开我了。。。那时我也听到你说你要接受他,当时的我真的很伤心。。。我也就算了,因为我知道我没有资格说你
其实在很久前我就有打算申请奖学金过外国深造,只不过之前都没机会。。。那是因为之前我还没够资格,现在我可有了所以我就申请了。。。其实我也没有10全的把握可以去到外国深造,因为机会很渺茫。。。其实我也有可能是为了逃避某些事而出国吧
而我也发现了,我已不再是之前那个开朗的郝威了,我变到自己也不认识我自己。。。或许这个打击对我太大,我放太多的感情在他身上了,才会如此的受伤。。。其实不是只有我受伤,当然他的伤也不会轻到哪儿,他会选择离开我当然是不要再受伤害吧。。。
其实只要他的一句我就会留下了,因为他对我的情太深了。。。不过现在我会考虑清楚,因为他就要接受她的追求者。。。如果是这样我不会再留住你,我会放你走去寻找你的自由,你的幸福。。。因为我在留你那就代表我很自私,我承认我自私那都是因为我要你而不是其他人。。。
其实在这期间我变化到很快,竟然跟其他人玩起了暧昧。。。我知道着我都是在玩罢了,也算是在掩饰着自己的情绪。。。我也知道这样对他很不公平,我很对不起
对不起我自己,对不起我爱的人,对不起和我玩暧昧的的人~
突然间觉得我是个失败者,爱情失败,学业失败,就连家庭也是失败。。。那就让我继续失败下去吧直到我自己清醒为子
我很花心吧?要不然就不会跟他暧昧了,对不起哦~我觉得我不应该玩下去,因为这样对你很不公平,因为我大概知道某些事,在这里我也不要说。。。因为只有天知地知我知你知
明天就可以知道自己能不能出国深造,能的话~我会放弃这里的一切,包括所有人,所有事。。。因为我不想再留恋这里了
留在这里只会让我,让她,让朋友更难过更伤心。。。
如果哪一天我出国回来在kl看到我或在我家附近看到我那就证明了我放下了以前的东西,而从心开始。。。。加油


对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,
对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起,对不起所有人请原谅我的自私。。。我决定了



郝威
13/12/2012
07:56pm
Sunway University College Campus

Monday, 10 December 2012

bittersweet

It's hard to find the things to say
I'm vulnerable and frail
So i wrap my HEART in bubble plastic
Just incase it break
Before you and i go much further now
I'm asking you to
Please tell me
Do you really want my LOVE
Is it really me you're thinking of
When u smile at me
It's so bittersweet
Let me know
Before tomorrow comes along
Cause baby i'm already in too deep
Until then I LOVE you BITTERSWEET
I can't let go but this i know
I won't let you stay
I you're not sure about the way you feel
About the two of us today
Before you and i go much further now
I'm asking you to
Please tell me
Do you really want my LOVE
Is it really me you're thinking of
When you smile at me
It's so bittersweet
Let me know
Before tomorrow comes along
Cause baby i'm already in too deep
Until then i LOVE you BITTERSWEET
It's heaven when you say it's you and me
But hell when you' re gone mysteriously
I'd rather be alone than lost and torn
Maybe i must make it on my own
I'm feeling incomplete
Loving you is so bittersweet
DO YOU REALLY WANT MY LOVE
DO YOU REALLY WANT MY LOVE
Is it really me you're thinking of
When you smile at me
It's so bittersweet
Oh..... let me know
Before tomorrow comes along
Cause baby i'm already in to deep
Until then i LOVE you BITTERSWEET
Until then i LOVE YOU BITTERSWEET


Hao Wei
10/12/2012
07:15pm
My home

Sunday, 9 December 2012

heartbeats within me and you


I Cant Figure Out
Is It Meant To Be This Way
Easy Words So Hard To Say
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT
Knowing How You Feel
Know If This Is Real
Tell Me
Am I Mistaken
Cause I Don't Have
Another HEART For Breaking
PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO
I JUST WANNA STAY
Can't You Feel My HEARTBEATS
Giving Me Away
I Just Wanna Know
If You Too Feel Afraid
I Can Feel Your HEARTBEAT Giving You Away
Giving Us Away
I Can't Understand
How It's Making Sense
That We Put Up Such Defense
When All
You Need To Know
No Matter What You Do
I'm Just As Scare As You
Tell ME
Am I Mistaken
Cause I Don't Have
Another HEART For Breaking
PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO
I JUST WANNA STAY
Can't You Feel My HEARTBEATS Giving Me Away
I Just Wanna Know
If You Too Feel Afraid
I Can Feel Your HEARTBEATS Giving You Away
Giving Us Away


"PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO
I JUST WANNA STAY
CAN'T YOU FEEL MY HEARTBEATS GIVING ME AWAY
I JUST WANNA KNOW
IF YOU TOO FEEL AFRAID
I CAN FEEL YOUR HEARTBEATS GIVING YOU AWAY
GIVING US AWAY"




PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO

I JUST WANNA STAY



Hao Wei
10/12/2012
10:38
My Home

Sunday, 28 October 2012

我的歌声里

没有一点点的防备
也没有一丝顾虑
你就这样出现
在我的世界里 
带给我惊喜
情不自已
可是你偏又这样
在我不知不觉中悄悄的消失
从我的世界里没有音讯
剩下的只是回忆
你存在 
我深深的脑海里
我的梦里 
我的心里
我的歌声里
你存在
我深深的脑海里
我的梦里
我的心里
我的歌声里
还记得我们曾经
肩并肩一起走过那段繁华巷口
尽管你我是陌生人 
是过路人
但彼此还是感觉到了
对方的一个眼神
 一个心跳
一种意想不到的快乐
好像是一场梦境
命中注定
你存在
我深深的脑海里
我的梦里
我的心里
我的歌声里
你存在
我深深的脑海里
我的梦里
我的心里
我的歌声里
世界之大为何我们相遇
难道是缘分
难道是天意
你存在
我深深的脑海里
我的梦里
我的心里
我的歌声里
你存在
我深深的脑海里
我的梦里
我的心里
我的歌声里
你存在
我深深的脑海里
我的梦里
我的心里
我的歌声里





郝威
28/10/2012
16:41 pm
KPJ Kuantan Specialist Hospital



Wednesday, 3 October 2012

谎言好让自己好过

我相信很多人都知道我有病吧,但是我是不会让你们同情我的。。。一点机会也不给让你们来同情我这个病者,因为我最讨厌被同情。。。所以我选择用谎言来骗你们和骗我自己
原因很简单,因为我不想让人知道我有多糟糕~我承认我是一个爱面子的人,但是我也有我自己的尊严。。。所以我是不会让你们得逞的
其实我的病比之前严重得多了,我自己也有察觉到这次比之前严重很多。。。你们问我我也只会说还是老样子,因为我知道你们在担心我,就是因为这样我才会要说谎好让我自己好过点。。。其实我也不想的,没有人想要自己有病,没有人想要自己还没完成的东西就这样没了,没有人想自己的努力过就这样完了,没有人想还没交到女朋友就这样完了。。。我还有很多个东西还没做,老天爷你不可以这样对我,而且我没犯错为什么要这样对我?
说真的说到这里我的行动已经不是很方便了,以前刚开始还可以运动,跑,走,跳。。。而现在呢,不要说跑就连走路都成问题,也跑医院多次了,结果当然一样啦。。。不用问都知道,说真的有点失望。。。我失望是因为现在科技那么发达,竟然没有一个东西是可以把我给医好。。。反而是越来越糟糕
我的生命越来越短了,我当然珍惜我的生命。。。不过(你)相信不相信就你的事了,因为你一直都说我会好的。。。但我的生命只剩下那短短的几个月或几年,不过我会珍惜我的生命。。。不让他白白流走

I believe many people also know my illness,but i won't let you all to sympathy with me.....I won't give one chance to them to sympathy with me,because i hate sympathy....So i choose to lie with you all and me also
Reason so easy,because i don't want let people know i become more worst~I admit i love my own face, but me also got my own dignity....So i won't let you all try to sympathy with me
Actually my illness compare to before more serious,myself also got realise it....you all ask me i sure will say still the same,because i don't want you all to worry with me,like tat i choose to lie with you all to give me good ...Actually me don't want ,no people will want illness,no people think not yet finish the thing we have do like that lost,no people think mine own attempt like that lost jor,no people will think not yet have real girl friend like that lost....I still have many thing not yet finish do,god you can't like that do with me,but me also not do anything wrong why you want to punish me?
Now a days, my action already not good,previously i still can sport, run,walk,jump like a hyper active, but now don't say another run like walk also got problem,also go hospital many time,the result still same...don't ask also know, actually got little bit disappointed......i disappointed is because of science and technology already advance,still the same nothing can cure my illness.....instead more worst
My life still got little bit short,i sure will value my life.....but (you) still don't believe then that is your problem,because you always say me good.....My life still have how many month or year,but i will value my life....Won't let my life waste
My life is valueber......




Hao Wei
04/10/2012
0400am
My Home

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

“傻”

有时候觉得自己很傻,傻在哪里自己也不知道
自己的傻是好还是坏呢?有谁可以告诉我呢?
有时候人就是那么傻,为了某些事发奋图强反而结果等于0
其实我每天那么傻都是在伪装的,因为不想让人家觉得我是不开心的
算了吧,就算你再怎么傻怎么样都没人会知道~
真不明白为什么大人说一套做一套
为什么就是不能迁就自己的孩子,你可以站在孩子的角度想啊
为什么就是不可以?其实很多人都想有个知心的朋友来说
把自己的父母当成知心朋友,但是应该不可能吧
因为你的父母永远也不知道你在想什么,父母永远也只会站在大人的角度那边~
或许我是真的傻吧。。。
傻真的可以什么都不知道吗?如果可以那我宁愿一辈子傻也不要那么正经,因为真正的傻可以带来快乐
我也不知道为什么自己会那么说,就直觉告诉我说傻是快乐的。。。IS that sha will become more happy?

sometime i really tired with my life.....why will become like that?
unhappy at all the time.....
SHIT!!!!!LIKE A HELL




Hao Wei
12:21pm
13/09/12
home sweet home

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Disappointed

me and u recognize about got 5 years.....Tat time still studying so we can't meet.....so I waiting to meet you
I remember got one time I'm goin to Kuantan perade.....at the time I remember back u say u work at there,so I excited to see u at there....Guo ran bu chu wo shuo liao,u rili at there,u at one shop repair phone....
Later I saw u,I sms u...I say I saw u n u dun hav saw me....tat time I rili happy to sawing u...l.this about 3years ago le.....
I still remember our thing....until u work at ECM,I oso saw u at ECM....but that time u still dunno me,coz wo he ni bu shi hen shou,i can recognize just because I saw u at ktn perade tat time
After I pass by ur shop,u oso realize me....just u dunno is me,den u SMS me and ask me whether is me ma?yes is me....at tat time our start become closer
At the one time u got fair at downstairs so I saw u,tat is first time chat....but is me initiative say with u la....tat time is me and my frn are goin to watch movie,coz tat time is him keep thing to go back home rest.....so I say bye bye to him and say date later....
Dunno why all the time I saw him I will nervous all the time,all the time we go ECM I oso will pass by ur shop and see u at shop anot,wat r u doin at there....
Everytime i do like tat give my frn and my family realize le,there ask me a lot of question.....finallynu all know,when I saw u I will nervous just for see u....we haven't go out together that time because we still bu shou and oso tat time u got gf so I didn't even disturb u
At one time I saw u are scolding ur frn at fb status, so I comment to concern u.... We chat at chat box and I ask u a lot of thg and I oso call u don't think too much of this....coz this type of thg not benefit to us
At the same time our relation become more close.....but oso wo de yi Xiang Qing yuan ba...even I no mood sad or anything else not good u oso will concern with me....I really happy with u
First time we meet at tc......tat time I got call my other frn out,jz becoz I dunwan our will embarrass
Wait u tat time menn frn chatting,my frn say I too nervous le....is it I like u my face become red le....waiting till u come my frn gu yi pi Kai wo men and sit other place, I go and pick there all back to own place and laugh only....lol
Me and u out for three time....after tat at afternoon I call u out,u say ok de....I oso inform my mum I will out for tomorrow for watching movie at ECM......when I say with u I no transport I nid u fetch me to go coz jz we two so I nid u fetch me u oso say ok......
But at the last wan slp that time u SMS me and say u can't out le,at that time I really disappointed with u.....just although one hour to two hour only u change ur opinion,I rili disappointed with u....coz u promise wan out with me at last dint do it
Tat time start I dun have out with u.....just only SMS coz you r busy with ur work and me also busy with my shop.....disappointed with u
At the end,when im leave Kuantan I will invite u one more time....if u dunwan out den I got nothing to say and I won't invite u anymore....
At the same time u put ur status and I ask u wat happen,u said u saw ur ex at beach....I dunno wat ur happen tat day,I oso noe u ard forgive ur ex if not u won't accept frn reguest....I got comfort u to dun think too much, and u say u won't love anymore u won't trust love.....tat time my heart broken coz I heard u say un won't love le,u dun hav think my feeling....of coz u won't coz u duno I ard love with u,coz ur heart got ur ex
I really heart broken and disappointed with u....





Hao Wei
2.58am
02/10/2012
KPJ Kuantan specialist



02/10/2012
Kuantan specialist hospital

Saturday, 25 August 2012

When I Have Secret

When I have secret, where can I say ? 
friend? family? girl friend?
When I have secret, who can I talk?
friend? family? girl friend?
When i have secret, who will help me to keep?
friend? family? girl friend?
I don't know why i cant believe on my friend?
why? why? why?
that wise all the thing I put in heart....

Friday, 6 January 2012

上辈子欠上的债今世来还

我不知道我上辈子做了什么孽,要我这辈子扛上这些罪~上辈子欠下的债,我今世来还~但是我的这辈子就是我的今世也太长了吧~今生还完所有的罪孽,下辈子不要再纠缠我了~可以吗?因为一个人不能撑太久

我今年25岁,我是个独生子~每个人都认为独生子或独生女很好,其实我可以说一点也不好~其实他们要理不要理将真的很累很辛苦~我一点也不喜欢,其实我的一切已经被安排好了,都不是我想要的~

有些家庭则不一样,可以做自己的选择~而我呢?总觉得自己读书读出来都是假的,因为你已经无路可选你只可以依照他们的安排去行事~那我也只能这样,我想这就是老天爷安排我接受这样的惩罚吧~

我看着其他人可以不受他人控制来做自己喜欢的事,而我却要受他人控制来做我不喜欢的事~我是多么多么的羡慕多么多么的渴望你们可以让我做自己的事~每次我要做的东西你们都不给,我不知道为什么~但是我看到你给其他人那样做,看了多么的辛酸~你宁愿让其他人做自己喜欢的事也不让我做我自己想做的事 ~你要知道我是多么的不开心

总觉得我不是你的孩子一样,因为你疼其他人多过疼你自己的孩子~这是我自己亲眼看到的
其实说真的我不懂我哪里做错了,因为我做的每件事你都会看不顺眼~就好像我是真的做错了
其实我没有你想象中的那么坏,你可以给我点自由吗?我真的累了

我真的累了,放过我好吗?每次都给你骂,但是我不懂我哪里做错了~就算我没做错,你们也觉得我做错了~难道我就是那么的不顺眼?你们可以给我一个答案吗?你每次都骂我,不管对错我都认了~但是你们有没有想过我的感受?你们有没有试过站在我的立场上想过。。。我可以说完全没有,如果有的话你们是不可能这样对待我

有时候是真的累了,可是你们一眼也看不出~有时有想过我是不是你们亲身的,因为你对待你自己的孩子不是很好~我有想过我死了你们会怎样,但是我不会那么傻跑去死掉~老天爷给我的生命我就会好好的去珍惜,只要过了老天爷这一关我就不会有这些了~

相信自己过了这关,我就不用受这些苦了~相信自己
不忍都忍了那么多年,那就继续忍吧~
加油`~我一定行


郝威
11.11am
7/12/2012
自己的家(监牢)